We took some time to sit down with producer, author, former gymnast, and current CMO of Levi’s Jennifer Sey. We talked about her personal experience in the gymnastics world, her book, and her new film, Athlete A, out on Netflix now.

WHAT WAS YOUR MOTIVATION TO PRODUCE THE FILM?

I was a gymnast in the 70s and 80s. I was on the National Team for nearly a decade and the 1986 National Champion. I experienced the best and the worst that gymnastics has to offer. And while I loved it from day one, I left the sport broken – emotionally and physically. I’ve long said the culture is one of extreme cruelty. My coaches were emotionally and physically abusive and harbored sexual predators on their staff. We were berated and belittled regularly, called “fat pigs”, weighed multiple times a day, ordered to lose weight “by any means necessary”. We were screamed at, had random objects thrown at us, we were more afraid of our coaches than of the sport’s dangers. We trained on serious injuries causing lifelong damage.

When I left the sport feeling ashamed and absolutely filled with despair and self-hatred, I thought I’d be able to just put it all behind me. But I couldn’t. Abuse is insidious and it weaves its way into your psyche. You think you deserved the treatment you got because you were deficient. And to continue to struggle with having been treated poorly is further sign of your deficiency. It is a dangerous cycle and one that is hard to put an end to.

In my late 30s in an attempt to understand my experience and its impact on me, I wrote it all down. It became a memoir – Chalked Up – that detailed my experience in the sport. The ups and downs, the cruelty, the joy and everything in between. I became an early whistleblower of sorts, and ended up being a source for journalists, an “expert” in this subject matter – often called upon by the press to speak when there was a newsworthy incident of abuse in any sport. Because of this I got to know many of the Nassar survivors as they came forward, the journalists who broke the story, the detective who pursued the case, the prosecuting attorney who dared to fight for every victim, gave them all a voice – a way to take back their power.

And I thought, as I stood with all of these women, got to know them personally –  this story needs to be told in a way that people will understand. In a manner that they will want to consume it. A film. Because lets face it more people are going to watch a film than read a book! And in a film, we can show the beauty and the brutality of the sport.

 So I took my pitch on the road and quickly met Julie Parker Benello, a producer on the film, who introduced me to Bonni Cohen and Jon Schenk – the amazing directors. That’s how it all got going.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE PEOPLE WALK AWAY UNDERSTANDING AFTER THE FILM?

I hope people understand the depths of cruelty at the heart of the culture in this sport. I hope they understand the joy it brings these athletes, as children when they start. And how that is taken from them unnecessarily by coaches and a leadership culture that prizes money and medals over child safety. I hope parents take away that they need to prepare their kids to speak up, to say no, to not be obedient in the face of poor treatment, of abuse. I hope they teach their children to believe their own experience and not to let anyone ever take advantage of them, abuse them in any manner. I hope parents interview coaches to understand their child rearing and coaching philosophy. And I hope USAG knows the pressure is on. Their status quo behavior will not stand.

HOW DOES GROOMING WORK, AND HOW DOES IT PLAY A PART IN THE SPORTS WORLD?

Grooming is the process by which coaches, or in this case, Nassar, breed trust with athletes/patients. The abuser brings the victim close, creates a bond of trust. Nassar did it by being ‘nice’ to the athletes when they were in situations where no one was kind. He sympathized with them, listened to them, gave them food when they were hungry. So they trusted him. And then, when he abused them, they almost didn’t believe it could be happening because he was their “friend”. He caused them to doubt their own experience, their own perception of the world, which is incredibly disorienting. It’s a devastating thing to do to a person – and then unleash them into the world not knowing if they can even trust their own eyes, their own feelings, their own judgment, their own experience.  They end up blaming themselves for letting it happen. Grooming is an especially pernicious act, one that stays with the survivor as much as the abuse.

WHAT RESOURCES WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR SURVIVORS, AND SURVIVORS IN SPORT?

https://metoomvmt.org/ provides an incredible list of resources. And will connect you to the resources in your area.

https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones is another place to go to find resources.

I also strongly recommend therapy. Even if you think you’re handling it, it helps. If you’re suffering, if you’re struggling, find someone to talk to. A professional specializing in sexual abuse. Check above links for resources.