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Read more about the article Dear Survivor… from Grace French

Dear Survivor… from Grace French

  • Post author:welldesign
  • Post published:March 31, 2022
  • Post category:Blog/SAAM Letters
  • Post comments:0 Comments

During Sexual Assault Awareness Month in April, The Army of Survivors is publishing a series of open letters to athlete survivors from our board members. This is the first letter…

Continue ReadingDear Survivor… from Grace French

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© THE ARMY OF SURVIVORS, INC. 2021. THE ARMY OF SURVIVORS IS DESIGNATED AS A 501(C)3. tax id 83-1608542

Disclaimer: While many of our volunteers are Sister Survivors of Michigan State University, USAG, and USOC, this organization and entity is limited in the ability to accommodate all narratives of each Sister Survivor. Our statements and actions may not always represent the views of all of the Sister Survivors.

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This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

© THE ARMY OF SURVIVORS, INC. 2021. THE ARMY OF SURVIVORS IS DESIGNATED AS A 501(C)3. tax id 83-1608542

Disclaimer: While many of our volunteers are Sister Survivors of Michigan State University, USAG, and USOC, this organization and entity is limited in the ability to accommodate all narratives of each Sister Survivor. Our statements and actions may not always represent the views of all of the Sister Survivors.

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METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

AUTHORITY

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence use their position of power over an athlete to threaten and manipulate the athlete not only to assault them, but to also control their reaction after the abuse has occurred and silence them from reporting or disclosing the abuse.

 
  • The coach automatically has authority over the athlete as children are taught to respect and listen to adults.
  • Perpetrators will often exploit pre-existing power dynamics in order to maintain power and control of athletes.
  • Perpetrators regularly reinforce the power dynamic over the athlete through threats of not allowing the athlete’s career to move forward or being placed on the injury list, further reinforcing that the perpetrator is the gateway to future successes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

GROOMING

Using a long-term method of creating a personal relationship with the athlete to reinforce power and control, and alienate the athlete from their support systems. Grooming often occurs on a continuum beginning with boundary crossing and then escalating to additional acts of sexual abuse.


  • Grooming often happens over an extended period of time where perpetrators use the previously stated tactics to gain the athlete’s trust, reinforce power and control, and make them feel as though they have no exit.
  • Providing gifts to the athlete to gain trust, friendship, and further enforcing that the athlete is indebted to the person creating harm. The gifts might be something special or unique such as new sporting equipment, 1-on-1 training, or sports memorabilia.
  • Giving the athlete special attention that encourages trust between them and isolates them from their team and support.
  • Excessive encouragement or playing into the athlete’s dreams of being successful in the sport (as well as communicating the athlete’s unique abilities to the parents, often to access further one-on-one time).
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

MINIMIZING, DENYING, & BLAMING

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence* making light of abuse disclosed by athletes or whistleblowers and shifting the blame onto them. For example, gaslighting them into believing it did not happen or that the abuse was really an acceptable act within athletic training.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can gaslight the athlete by saying the abuse is a part of appropriate athletic training. Coach, athlete guardians, and enablers may argue that the athlete misinterpreted an acceptable form of training as abuse and try to make the athlete believe the abuse was acceptable.
  • The coaches, guardians, and people of influence shift the blame onto the athlete for not fighting back, alleging the athlete allowed the abuse, or questioning why the athlete did not report sooner. An athlete’s physical strength and athleticism will often be weaponized to cause doubt that the athlete could be a survivor.

*”Coaches, guardians, and people of influence” is being used to represent a coach, trainer, physical therapist, doctor, physician, parent, or other administrative personnel working within a sport that has access and ability to abuse athletes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

COERCION

Using pressure or manipulation to force sexual contact. For example, using shame, threats, ultimatums, or withholding access to their sport or playing time as punishment for not engaging in sexual contact.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may use manipulative tactics and persistent boundary crossing to initiate abuse and maintain power and control.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will weaponize personal information against the athlete to gain access and control the silence of the athlete. For example, coaches and athlete guardians may introduce performance enhancers, use disclosed information, or create sexual abuse material of the athlete in order to have something that could harm the athlete if they reported.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

ISOLATION

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence maintain control over interactions and use isolation tactics to make athletes feel alone by restricting access to other athletes, coaches, trainers, facilities, and their family.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may distance the athlete from their team, friends and family, or other coaches, trainers, and staff in order to eliminate their contact with the people within their life that could hold the coaches, guardians, and people of influence accountable.
  • Isolation can be extremely dangerous when the athlete is distanced (especially with travel teams) from their own family and friends. This can happen by the coaches, guardians, and people of influence convincing the athlete that their family does not understand what is best for them, their family does not prioritize their athletic future, or by creating an environment where the athlete has limited time to be with these people.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Gaining the Athlete’s & Caregiver’s trust

Gaining trust is often achieved by “unburdening” or doing “favors” for the parents/ guardians such as providing transportation to a family that is struggling with scheduling or providing equipment to a child whose family cannot afford it. While providing support to a family is not a direct indicator of malice, when partnered with expected compliance or used to make the athlete feel as though they are indebted to a coach, this could be a method of gaining power and control.

  • Trust can be gained through different actions that make coaches, guardians, and people of influence seem like trustworthy people.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will often exploit a child and family’s vulnerabilities to groom the child such as offering rides to a single parent family, providing a mobile phone to a family with limited financial means, or acting as an affirming person for a queer youth that is not out to their family. These acts provide an additional dynamic of power and control over the athlete.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may ask the athlete personal questions, as well as disclose personal information, to groom the athlete and develop a false sense of trust and gauge whether the athlete will immediately disclose boundary crossing behaviors.
  • The grooming can be furthered by extra physical contact when providing demonstration or fixing the athlete’s form. This inappropriate touching can begin by small moments that may initially seem appropriate like congratulating the athlete with a high five, but then escalate to inappropriate physical contact.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

THREATS & REWARDS

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence often instill fear in athletes using threats such as reducing playing time or being removed from the team, to secure compliance and/or silence. Promised rewards of additional resources and time may be used to manipulate athletes into compliance and/or silence.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may threaten the athlete to have reduced playing time or unnecessarily be placed on the injury list.
  • Rewarding the athlete with excessive praise, in front of teammates from whom they withhold praise can further isolate the athlete from teammates.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may reward athletes for not disclosing by providing additional resources, one-on-one time, or allowing more playing time.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

HETERONORMATIVITY, SEXISM, & CISSEXISM

UHeteronormativity occurs in the assumption that perpetration does not happen outside of a cisgender male perpetrator and a cisgender female survivor. Heteronormativity, homophobia, sexism, and cissexism reinforce gender myths further silencing survivors that experience trauma outside of cisgender male perpetrator and cisgender female survivor. In addition, sexism and patriarchal myths are utilized to weaponize male and masculine privilege over feminine and female-identified athletes and reinforces a power dynamic and toxic gender roles.
 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence that perform toxic masculinity and/or become emotionally and verbally abusive over mistakes reinforce fear and a power dynamic over athletes.
  • Male and masculine survivor athletes often face additional barriers and stigmas when disclosing due to homophobia and patriarchal stigmas that perpetuate the myth that survivors are weak.
  • Male survivors are often marginalized and silenced further due to myths that survivors are those who only identify as cisgender female. Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can exploit this myth to further silence survivors.
  • Survivors that identify outside of the cisgender binary and/or identify as trans often experience additional barriers to reporting and dislcosing due to heteronormative, patriarchal myths that suggest queer people are hypersexualized or are groomers themselves. Again, perpetrators will often exploit these cultural myths to further silence and gaslight survivors. Additionally, perpetrators may exploit athlete ban policies by reminding queer athletes that they are not allowed to play in other leagues based on their identity.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

HETERONORMATIVITY, SEXISM, & CISSEXISM

Heteronormativity occurs in the assumption that perpetration does not happen outside of a cisgender male perpetrator and a cisgender female survivor. Heteronormativity, homophobia, sexism, and cissexism reinforce gender myths further silencing survivors that experience trauma outside of cisgender male perpetrator and cisgender female survivor. In addition, sexism and patriarchal myths are utilized to weaponize male and masculine privilege over feminine and female-identified athletes and reinforces a power dynamic and toxic gender roles.

 

  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence that perform toxic masculinity and/or become emotionally and verbally abusive over mistakes reinforce fear and a power dynamic over athletes.
  • Male and masculine survivor athletes often face additional barriers and stigmas when disclosing due to homophobia and patriarchal stigmas that perpetuate the myth that survivors are weak.
  • Male survivors are often marginalized and silenced further due to myths that survivors are those who only identify as cisgender female. Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can exploit this myth to further silence survivors.
  • Survivors that identify outside of the cisgender binary and/or identify as trans often experience additional barriers to reporting and dislcosing due to heteronormative, patriarchal myths that suggest queer people are hypersexualized or are groomers themselves. Again, perpetrators will often exploit these cultural myths to further silence and gaslight survivors. Additionally, perpetrators may exploit athlete ban policies by reminding queer athletes that they are not allowed to play in other leagues based on their identity.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

AUTHORITY

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence use their position of power over an athlete to threaten and manipulate the athlete not only to assault them, but to also control their reaction after the abuse has occurred and silence them from reporting or disclosing the abuse.

 
  • The coach automatically has authority over the athlete as children are taught to respect and listen to adults.
  • Perpetrators will often exploit pre-existing power dynamics in order to maintain power and control of athletes.
  • Perpetrators regularly reinforce the power dynamic over the athlete through threats of not allowing the athlete’s career to move forward or being placed on the injury list, further reinforcing that the perpetrator is the gateway to future successes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

GROOMING

Using a long-term method of creating a personal relationship with the athlete to reinforce power and control, and alienate the athlete from their support systems. Grooming often occurs on a continuum beginning with boundary crossing and then escalating to additional acts of sexual abuse.


  • Grooming often happens over an extended period of time where perpetrators use the previously stated tactics to gain the athlete’s trust, reinforce power and control, and make them feel as though they have no exit.
  • Providing gifts to the athlete to gain trust, friendship, and further enforcing that the athlete is indebted to the person creating harm. The gifts might be something special or unique such as new sporting equipment, 1-on-1 training, or sports memorabilia.
  • Giving the athlete special attention that encourages trust between them and isolates them from their team and support.
  • Excessive encouragement or playing into the athlete’s dreams of being successful in the sport (as well as communicating the athlete’s unique abilities to the parents, often to access further one-on-one time).
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

MINIMIZING, DENYING, & BLAMING

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence* making light of abuse disclosed by athletes or whistleblowers and shifting the blame onto them. For example, gaslighting them into believing it did not happen or that the abuse was really an acceptable act within athletic training.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can gaslight the athlete by saying the abuse is a part of appropriate athletic training. Coach, athlete guardians, and enablers may argue that the athlete misinterpreted an acceptable form of training as abuse and try to make the athlete believe the abuse was acceptable.
  • The coaches, guardians, and people of influence shift the blame onto the athlete for not fighting back, alleging the athlete allowed the abuse, or questioning why the athlete did not report sooner. An athlete’s physical strength and athleticism will often be weaponized to cause doubt that the athlete could be a survivor.

*”Coaches, guardians, and people of influence” is being used to represent a coach, trainer, physical therapist, doctor, physician, parent, or other administrative personnel working within a sport that has access and ability to abuse athletes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

COERCION

Using pressure or manipulation to force sexual contact. For example, using shame, threats, ultimatums, or withholding access to their sport or playing time as punishment for not engaging in sexual contact.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may use manipulative tactics and persistent boundary crossing to initiate abuse and maintain power and control.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will weaponize personal information against the athlete to gain access and control the silence of the athlete. For example, coaches and athlete guardians may introduce performance enhancers, use disclosed information, or create sexual abuse material of the athlete in order to have something that could harm the athlete if they reported.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

ISOLATION

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence maintain control over interactions and use isolation tactics to make athletes feel alone by restricting access to other athletes, coaches, trainers, facilities, and their family.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may distance the athlete from their team, friends and family, or other coaches, trainers, and staff in order to eliminate their contact with the people within their life that could hold the coaches, guardians, and people of influence accountable.
  • Isolation can be extremely dangerous when the athlete is distanced (especially with travel teams) from their own family and friends. This can happen by the coaches, guardians, and people of influence convincing the athlete that their family does not understand what is best for them, their family does not prioritize their athletic future, or by creating an environment where the athlete has limited time to be with these people.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Gaining the Athlete’s & Caregiver’s trust

Gaining trust is often achieved by “unburdening” or doing “favors” for the parents/ guardians such as providing transportation to a family that is struggling with scheduling or providing equipment to a child whose family cannot afford it. While providing support to a family is not a direct indicator of malice, when partnered with expected compliance or used to make the athlete feel as though they are indebted to a coach, this could be a method of gaining power and control.

  • Trust can be gained through different actions that make coaches, guardians, and people of influence seem like trustworthy people.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will often exploit a child and family’s vulnerabilities to groom the child such as offering rides to a single parent family, providing a mobile phone to a family with limited financial means, or acting as an affirming person for a queer youth that is not out to their family. These acts provide an additional dynamic of power and control over the athlete.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may ask the athlete personal questions, as well as disclose personal information, to groom the athlete and develop a false sense of trust and gauge whether the athlete will immediately disclose boundary crossing behaviors.
  • The grooming can be furthered by extra physical contact when providing demonstration or fixing the athlete’s form. This inappropriate touching can begin by small moments that may initially seem appropriate like congratulating the athlete with a high five, but then escalate to inappropriate physical contact.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

THREATS & REWARDS

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence often instill fear in athletes using threats such as reducing playing time or being removed from the team, to secure compliance and/or silence. Promised rewards of additional resources and time may be used to manipulate athletes into compliance and/or silence.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may threaten the athlete to have reduced playing time or unnecessarily be placed on the injury list.
  • Rewarding the athlete with excessive praise, in front of teammates from whom they withhold praise can further isolate the athlete from teammates.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may reward athletes for not disclosing by providing additional resources, one-on-one time, or allowing more playing time.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

THREATS & REWARDS

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence often instill fear in athletes using threats such as reducing playing time or being removed from the team, to secure compliance and/or silence. Promised rewards of additional resources and time may be used to manipulate athletes into compliance and/or silence.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may threaten the athlete to have reduced playing time or unnecessarily be placed on the injury list.
  • Rewarding the athlete with excessive praise, in front of teammates from whom they withhold praise can further isolate the athlete from teammates.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may reward athletes for not disclosing by providing additional resources, one-on-one time, or allowing more playing time.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

HETERONORMATIVITY, SEXISM, & CISSEXISM

UHeteronormativity occurs in the assumption that perpetration does not happen outside of a cisgender male perpetrator and a cisgender female survivor. Heteronormativity, homophobia, sexism, and cissexism reinforce gender myths further silencing survivors that experience trauma outside of cisgender male perpetrator and cisgender female survivor. In addition, sexism and patriarchal myths are utilized to weaponize male and masculine privilege over feminine and female-identified athletes and reinforces a power dynamic and toxic gender roles.
 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence that perform toxic masculinity and/or become emotionally and verbally abusive over mistakes reinforce fear and a power dynamic over athletes.
  • Male and masculine survivor athletes often face additional barriers and stigmas when disclosing due to homophobia and patriarchal stigmas that perpetuate the myth that survivors are weak.
  • Male survivors are often marginalized and silenced further due to myths that survivors are those who only identify as cisgender female. Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can exploit this myth to further silence survivors.
  • Survivors that identify outside of the cisgender binary and/or identify as trans often experience additional barriers to reporting and dislcosing due to heteronormative, patriarchal myths that suggest queer people are hypersexualized or are groomers themselves. Again, perpetrators will often exploit these cultural myths to further silence and gaslight survivors. Additionally, perpetrators may exploit athlete ban policies by reminding queer athletes that they are not allowed to play in other leagues based on their identity.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

AUTHORITY

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence use their position of power over an athlete to threaten and manipulate the athlete not only to assault them, but to also control their reaction after the abuse has occurred and silence them from reporting or disclosing the abuse.

 
  • The coach automatically has authority over the athlete as children are taught to respect and listen to adults.
  • Perpetrators will often exploit pre-existing power dynamics in order to maintain power and control of athletes.
  • Perpetrators regularly reinforce the power dynamic over the athlete through threats of not allowing the athlete’s career to move forward or being placed on the injury list, further reinforcing that the perpetrator is the gateway to future successes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

GROOMING

Using a long-term method of creating a personal relationship with the athlete to reinforce power and control, and alienate the athlete from their support systems. Grooming often occurs on a continuum beginning with boundary crossing and then escalating to additional acts of sexual abuse.


  • Grooming often happens over an extended period of time where perpetrators use the previously stated tactics to gain the athlete’s trust, reinforce power and control, and make them feel as though they have no exit.
  • Providing gifts to the athlete to gain trust, friendship, and further enforcing that the athlete is indebted to the person creating harm. The gifts might be something special or unique such as new sporting equipment, 1-on-1 training, or sports memorabilia.
  • Giving the athlete special attention that encourages trust between them and isolates them from their team and support.
  • Excessive encouragement or playing into the athlete’s dreams of being successful in the sport (as well as communicating the athlete’s unique abilities to the parents, often to access further one-on-one time).
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

MINIMIZING, DENYING, & BLAMING

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence* making light of abuse disclosed by athletes or whistleblowers and shifting the blame onto them. For example, gaslighting them into believing it did not happen or that the abuse was really an acceptable act within athletic training.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can gaslight the athlete by saying the abuse is a part of appropriate athletic training. Coach, athlete guardians, and enablers may argue that the athlete misinterpreted an acceptable form of training as abuse and try to make the athlete believe the abuse was acceptable.
  • The coaches, guardians, and people of influence shift the blame onto the athlete for not fighting back, alleging the athlete allowed the abuse, or questioning why the athlete did not report sooner. An athlete’s physical strength and athleticism will often be weaponized to cause doubt that the athlete could be a survivor.

*”Coaches, guardians, and people of influence” is being used to represent a coach, trainer, physical therapist, doctor, physician, parent, or other administrative personnel working within a sport that has access and ability to abuse athletes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

COERCION

Using pressure or manipulation to force sexual contact. For example, using shame, threats, ultimatums, or withholding access to their sport or playing time as punishment for not engaging in sexual contact.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may use manipulative tactics and persistent boundary crossing to initiate abuse and maintain power and control.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will weaponize personal information against the athlete to gain access and control the silence of the athlete. For example, coaches and athlete guardians may introduce performance enhancers, use disclosed information, or create sexual abuse material of the athlete in order to have something that could harm the athlete if they reported.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

ISOLATION

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence maintain control over interactions and use isolation tactics to make athletes feel alone by restricting access to other athletes, coaches, trainers, facilities, and their family.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may distance the athlete from their team, friends and family, or other coaches, trainers, and staff in order to eliminate their contact with the people within their life that could hold the coaches, guardians, and people of influence accountable.
  • Isolation can be extremely dangerous when the athlete is distanced (especially with travel teams) from their own family and friends. This can happen by the coaches, guardians, and people of influence convincing the athlete that their family does not understand what is best for them, their family does not prioritize their athletic future, or by creating an environment where the athlete has limited time to be with these people.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Gaining the Athlete’s & Caregiver’s trust

Gaining trust is often achieved by “unburdening” or doing “favors” for the parents/ guardians such as providing transportation to a family that is struggling with scheduling or providing equipment to a child whose family cannot afford it. While providing support to a family is not a direct indicator of malice, when partnered with expected compliance or used to make the athlete feel as though they are indebted to a coach, this could be a method of gaining power and control.

  • Trust can be gained through different actions that make coaches, guardians, and people of influence seem like trustworthy people.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will often exploit a child and family’s vulnerabilities to groom the child such as offering rides to a single parent family, providing a mobile phone to a family with limited financial means, or acting as an affirming person for a queer youth that is not out to their family. These acts provide an additional dynamic of power and control over the athlete.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may ask the athlete personal questions, as well as disclose personal information, to groom the athlete and develop a false sense of trust and gauge whether the athlete will immediately disclose boundary crossing behaviors.
  • The grooming can be furthered by extra physical contact when providing demonstration or fixing the athlete’s form. This inappropriate touching can begin by small moments that may initially seem appropriate like congratulating the athlete with a high five, but then escalate to inappropriate physical contact.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Gaining the Athlete’s & Caregiver’s trust

Gaining trust is often achieved by “unburdening” or doing “favors” for the parents/ guardians such as providing transportation to a family that is struggling with scheduling or providing equipment to a child whose family cannot afford it. While providing support to a family is not a direct indicator of malice, when partnered with expected compliance or used to make the athlete feel as though they are indebted to a coach, this could be a method of gaining power and control.

  • Trust can be gained through different actions that make coaches, guardians, and people of influence seem like trustworthy people.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will often exploit a child and family’s vulnerabilities to groom the child such as offering rides to a single parent family, providing a mobile phone to a family with limited financial means, or acting as an affirming person for a queer youth that is not out to their family. These acts provide an additional dynamic of power and control over the athlete.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may ask the athlete personal questions, as well as disclose personal information, to groom the athlete and develop a false sense of trust and gauge whether the athlete will immediately disclose boundary crossing behaviors.
  • The grooming can be furthered by extra physical contact when providing demonstration or fixing the athlete’s form. This inappropriate touching can begin by small moments that may initially seem appropriate like congratulating the athlete with a high five, but then escalate to inappropriate physical contact.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

THREATS & REWARDS

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence often instill fear in athletes using threats such as reducing playing time or being removed from the team, to secure compliance and/or silence. Promised rewards of additional resources and time may be used to manipulate athletes into compliance and/or silence.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may threaten the athlete to have reduced playing time or unnecessarily be placed on the injury list.
  • Rewarding the athlete with excessive praise, in front of teammates from whom they withhold praise can further isolate the athlete from teammates.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may reward athletes for not disclosing by providing additional resources, one-on-one time, or allowing more playing time.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

HETERONORMATIVITY, SEXISM, & CISSEXISM

Heteronormativity occurs in the assumption that perpetration does not happen outside of a cisgender male perpetrator and a cisgender female survivor. Heteronormativity, homophobia, sexism, and cissexism reinforce gender myths further silencing survivors that experience trauma outside of cisgender male perpetrator and cisgender female survivor. In addition, sexism and patriarchal myths are utilized to weaponize male and masculine privilege over feminine and female-identified athletes and reinforces a power dynamic and toxic gender roles.

 

  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence that perform toxic masculinity and/or become emotionally and verbally abusive over mistakes reinforce fear and a power dynamic over athletes.
  • Male and masculine survivor athletes often face additional barriers and stigmas when disclosing due to homophobia and patriarchal stigmas that perpetuate the myth that survivors are weak.
  • Male survivors are often marginalized and silenced further due to myths that survivors are those who only identify as cisgender female. Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can exploit this myth to further silence survivors.
  • Survivors that identify outside of the cisgender binary and/or identify as trans often experience additional barriers to reporting and dislcosing due to heteronormative, patriarchal myths that suggest queer people are hypersexualized or are groomers themselves. Again, perpetrators will often exploit these cultural myths to further silence and gaslight survivors. Additionally, perpetrators may exploit athlete ban policies by reminding queer athletes that they are not allowed to play in other leagues based on their identity.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

AUTHORITY

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence use their position of power over an athlete to threaten and manipulate the athlete not only to assault them, but to also control their reaction after the abuse has occurred and silence them from reporting or disclosing the abuse.

 
  • The coach automatically has authority over the athlete as children are taught to respect and listen to adults.
  • Perpetrators will often exploit pre-existing power dynamics in order to maintain power and control of athletes.
  • Perpetrators regularly reinforce the power dynamic over the athlete through threats of not allowing the athlete’s career to move forward or being placed on the injury list, further reinforcing that the perpetrator is the gateway to future successes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

GROOMING

Using a long-term method of creating a personal relationship with the athlete to reinforce power and control, and alienate the athlete from their support systems. Grooming often occurs on a continuum beginning with boundary crossing and then escalating to additional acts of sexual abuse.


  • Grooming often happens over an extended period of time where perpetrators use the previously stated tactics to gain the athlete’s trust, reinforce power and control, and make them feel as though they have no exit.
  • Providing gifts to the athlete to gain trust, friendship, and further enforcing that the athlete is indebted to the person creating harm. The gifts might be something special or unique such as new sporting equipment, 1-on-1 training, or sports memorabilia.
  • Giving the athlete special attention that encourages trust between them and isolates them from their team and support.
  • Excessive encouragement or playing into the athlete’s dreams of being successful in the sport (as well as communicating the athlete’s unique abilities to the parents, often to access further one-on-one time).
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

MINIMIZING, DENYING, & BLAMING

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence* making light of abuse disclosed by athletes or whistleblowers and shifting the blame onto them. For example, gaslighting them into believing it did not happen or that the abuse was really an acceptable act within athletic training.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can gaslight the athlete by saying the abuse is a part of appropriate athletic training. Coach, athlete guardians, and enablers may argue that the athlete misinterpreted an acceptable form of training as abuse and try to make the athlete believe the abuse was acceptable.
  • The coaches, guardians, and people of influence shift the blame onto the athlete for not fighting back, alleging the athlete allowed the abuse, or questioning why the athlete did not report sooner. An athlete’s physical strength and athleticism will often be weaponized to cause doubt that the athlete could be a survivor.

*”Coaches, guardians, and people of influence” is being used to represent a coach, trainer, physical therapist, doctor, physician, parent, or other administrative personnel working within a sport that has access and ability to abuse athletes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

COERCION

Using pressure or manipulation to force sexual contact. For example, using shame, threats, ultimatums, or withholding access to their sport or playing time as punishment for not engaging in sexual contact.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may use manipulative tactics and persistent boundary crossing to initiate abuse and maintain power and control.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will weaponize personal information against the athlete to gain access and control the silence of the athlete. For example, coaches and athlete guardians may introduce performance enhancers, use disclosed information, or create sexual abuse material of the athlete in order to have something that could harm the athlete if they reported.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

ISOLATION

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence maintain control over interactions and use isolation tactics to make athletes feel alone by restricting access to other athletes, coaches, trainers, facilities, and their family.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may distance the athlete from their team, friends and family, or other coaches, trainers, and staff in order to eliminate their contact with the people within their life that could hold the coaches, guardians, and people of influence accountable.
  • Isolation can be extremely dangerous when the athlete is distanced (especially with travel teams) from their own family and friends. This can happen by the coaches, guardians, and people of influence convincing the athlete that their family does not understand what is best for them, their family does not prioritize their athletic future, or by creating an environment where the athlete has limited time to be with these people.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

ISOLATION

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence maintain control over interactions and use isolation tactics to make athletes feel alone by restricting access to other athletes, coaches, trainers, facilities, and their family.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may distance the athlete from their team, friends and family, or other coaches, trainers, and staff in order to eliminate their contact with the people within their life that could hold the coaches, guardians, and people of influence accountable.
  • Isolation can be extremely dangerous when the athlete is distanced (especially with travel teams) from their own family and friends. This can happen by the coaches, guardians, and people of influence convincing the athlete that their family does not understand what is best for them, their family does not prioritize their athletic future, or by creating an environment where the athlete has limited time to be with these people.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Gaining the Athlete’s & Caregiver’s trust

Gaining trust is often achieved by “unburdening” or doing “favors” for the parents/ guardians such as providing transportation to a family that is struggling with scheduling or providing equipment to a child whose family cannot afford it. While providing support to a family is not a direct indicator of malice, when partnered with expected compliance or used to make the athlete feel as though they are indebted to a coach, this could be a method of gaining power and control.

  • Trust can be gained through different actions that make coaches, guardians, and people of influence seem like trustworthy people.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will often exploit a child and family’s vulnerabilities to groom the child such as offering rides to a single parent family, providing a mobile phone to a family with limited financial means, or acting as an affirming person for a queer youth that is not out to their family. These acts provide an additional dynamic of power and control over the athlete.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may ask the athlete personal questions, as well as disclose personal information, to groom the athlete and develop a false sense of trust and gauge whether the athlete will immediately disclose boundary crossing behaviors.
  • The grooming can be furthered by extra physical contact when providing demonstration or fixing the athlete’s form. This inappropriate touching can begin by small moments that may initially seem appropriate like congratulating the athlete with a high five, but then escalate to inappropriate physical contact.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

THREATS & REWARDS

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence often instill fear in athletes using threats such as reducing playing time or being removed from the team, to secure compliance and/or silence. Promised rewards of additional resources and time may be used to manipulate athletes into compliance and/or silence.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may threaten the athlete to have reduced playing time or unnecessarily be placed on the injury list.
  • Rewarding the athlete with excessive praise, in front of teammates from whom they withhold praise can further isolate the athlete from teammates.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may reward athletes for not disclosing by providing additional resources, one-on-one time, or allowing more playing time.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

HETERONORMATIVITY, SEXISM, & CISSEXISM

UHeteronormativity occurs in the assumption that perpetration does not happen outside of a cisgender male perpetrator and a cisgender female survivor. Heteronormativity, homophobia, sexism, and cissexism reinforce gender myths further silencing survivors that experience trauma outside of cisgender male perpetrator and cisgender female survivor. In addition, sexism and patriarchal myths are utilized to weaponize male and masculine privilege over feminine and female-identified athletes and reinforces a power dynamic and toxic gender roles.
 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence that perform toxic masculinity and/or become emotionally and verbally abusive over mistakes reinforce fear and a power dynamic over athletes.
  • Male and masculine survivor athletes often face additional barriers and stigmas when disclosing due to homophobia and patriarchal stigmas that perpetuate the myth that survivors are weak.
  • Male survivors are often marginalized and silenced further due to myths that survivors are those who only identify as cisgender female. Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can exploit this myth to further silence survivors.
  • Survivors that identify outside of the cisgender binary and/or identify as trans often experience additional barriers to reporting and dislcosing due to heteronormative, patriarchal myths that suggest queer people are hypersexualized or are groomers themselves. Again, perpetrators will often exploit these cultural myths to further silence and gaslight survivors. Additionally, perpetrators may exploit athlete ban policies by reminding queer athletes that they are not allowed to play in other leagues based on their identity.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

AUTHORITY

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence use their position of power over an athlete to threaten and manipulate the athlete not only to assault them, but to also control their reaction after the abuse has occurred and silence them from reporting or disclosing the abuse.

 
  • The coach automatically has authority over the athlete as children are taught to respect and listen to adults.
  • Perpetrators will often exploit pre-existing power dynamics in order to maintain power and control of athletes.
  • Perpetrators regularly reinforce the power dynamic over the athlete through threats of not allowing the athlete’s career to move forward or being placed on the injury list, further reinforcing that the perpetrator is the gateway to future successes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

GROOMING

Using a long-term method of creating a personal relationship with the athlete to reinforce power and control, and alienate the athlete from their support systems. Grooming often occurs on a continuum beginning with boundary crossing and then escalating to additional acts of sexual abuse.


  • Grooming often happens over an extended period of time where perpetrators use the previously stated tactics to gain the athlete’s trust, reinforce power and control, and make them feel as though they have no exit.
  • Providing gifts to the athlete to gain trust, friendship, and further enforcing that the athlete is indebted to the person creating harm. The gifts might be something special or unique such as new sporting equipment, 1-on-1 training, or sports memorabilia.
  • Giving the athlete special attention that encourages trust between them and isolates them from their team and support.
  • Excessive encouragement or playing into the athlete’s dreams of being successful in the sport (as well as communicating the athlete’s unique abilities to the parents, often to access further one-on-one time).
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

MINIMIZING, DENYING, & BLAMING

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence* making light of abuse disclosed by athletes or whistleblowers and shifting the blame onto them. For example, gaslighting them into believing it did not happen or that the abuse was really an acceptable act within athletic training.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can gaslight the athlete by saying the abuse is a part of appropriate athletic training. Coach, athlete guardians, and enablers may argue that the athlete misinterpreted an acceptable form of training as abuse and try to make the athlete believe the abuse was acceptable.
  • The coaches, guardians, and people of influence shift the blame onto the athlete for not fighting back, alleging the athlete allowed the abuse, or questioning why the athlete did not report sooner. An athlete’s physical strength and athleticism will often be weaponized to cause doubt that the athlete could be a survivor.

*”Coaches, guardians, and people of influence” is being used to represent a coach, trainer, physical therapist, doctor, physician, parent, or other administrative personnel working within a sport that has access and ability to abuse athletes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

COERCION

Using pressure or manipulation to force sexual contact. For example, using shame, threats, ultimatums, or withholding access to their sport or playing time as punishment for not engaging in sexual contact.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may use manipulative tactics and persistent boundary crossing to initiate abuse and maintain power and control.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will weaponize personal information against the athlete to gain access and control the silence of the athlete. For example, coaches and athlete guardians may introduce performance enhancers, use disclosed information, or create sexual abuse material of the athlete in order to have something that could harm the athlete if they reported.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

COERCION

Using pressure or manipulation to force sexual contact. For example, using shame, threats, ultimatums, or withholding access to their sport or playing time as punishment for not engaging in sexual contact.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may use manipulative tactics and persistent boundary crossing to initiate abuse and maintain power and control.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will weaponize personal information against the athlete to gain access and control the silence of the athlete. For example, coaches and athlete guardians may introduce performance enhancers, use disclosed information, or create sexual abuse material of the athlete in order to have something that could harm the athlete if they reported.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

ISOLATION

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence maintain control over interactions and use isolation tactics to make athletes feel alone by restricting access to other athletes, coaches, trainers, facilities, and their family.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may distance the athlete from their team, friends and family, or other coaches, trainers, and staff in order to eliminate their contact with the people within their life that could hold the coaches, guardians, and people of influence accountable.
  • Isolation can be extremely dangerous when the athlete is distanced (especially with travel teams) from their own family and friends. This can happen by the coaches, guardians, and people of influence convincing the athlete that their family does not understand what is best for them, their family does not prioritize their athletic future, or by creating an environment where the athlete has limited time to be with these people.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Gaining the Athlete’s & Caregiver’s trust

Gaining trust is often achieved by “unburdening” or doing “favors” for the parents/ guardians such as providing transportation to a family that is struggling with scheduling or providing equipment to a child whose family cannot afford it. While providing support to a family is not a direct indicator of malice, when partnered with expected compliance or used to make the athlete feel as though they are indebted to a coach, this could be a method of gaining power and control.

  • Trust can be gained through different actions that make coaches, guardians, and people of influence seem like trustworthy people.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will often exploit a child and family’s vulnerabilities to groom the child such as offering rides to a single parent family, providing a mobile phone to a family with limited financial means, or acting as an affirming person for a queer youth that is not out to their family. These acts provide an additional dynamic of power and control over the athlete.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may ask the athlete personal questions, as well as disclose personal information, to groom the athlete and develop a false sense of trust and gauge whether the athlete will immediately disclose boundary crossing behaviors.
  • The grooming can be furthered by extra physical contact when providing demonstration or fixing the athlete’s form. This inappropriate touching can begin by small moments that may initially seem appropriate like congratulating the athlete with a high five, but then escalate to inappropriate physical contact.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

THREATS & REWARDS

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence often instill fear in athletes using threats such as reducing playing time or being removed from the team, to secure compliance and/or silence. Promised rewards of additional resources and time may be used to manipulate athletes into compliance and/or silence.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may threaten the athlete to have reduced playing time or unnecessarily be placed on the injury list.
  • Rewarding the athlete with excessive praise, in front of teammates from whom they withhold praise can further isolate the athlete from teammates.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may reward athletes for not disclosing by providing additional resources, one-on-one time, or allowing more playing time.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

HETERONORMATIVITY, SEXISM, & CISSEXISM

UHeteronormativity occurs in the assumption that perpetration does not happen outside of a cisgender male perpetrator and a cisgender female survivor. Heteronormativity, homophobia, sexism, and cissexism reinforce gender myths further silencing survivors that experience trauma outside of cisgender male perpetrator and cisgender female survivor. In addition, sexism and patriarchal myths are utilized to weaponize male and masculine privilege over feminine and female-identified athletes and reinforces a power dynamic and toxic gender roles.
 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence that perform toxic masculinity and/or become emotionally and verbally abusive over mistakes reinforce fear and a power dynamic over athletes.
  • Male and masculine survivor athletes often face additional barriers and stigmas when disclosing due to homophobia and patriarchal stigmas that perpetuate the myth that survivors are weak.
  • Male survivors are often marginalized and silenced further due to myths that survivors are those who only identify as cisgender female. Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can exploit this myth to further silence survivors.
  • Survivors that identify outside of the cisgender binary and/or identify as trans often experience additional barriers to reporting and dislcosing due to heteronormative, patriarchal myths that suggest queer people are hypersexualized or are groomers themselves. Again, perpetrators will often exploit these cultural myths to further silence and gaslight survivors. Additionally, perpetrators may exploit athlete ban policies by reminding queer athletes that they are not allowed to play in other leagues based on their identity.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

AUTHORITY

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence use their position of power over an athlete to threaten and manipulate the athlete not only to assault them, but to also control their reaction after the abuse has occurred and silence them from reporting or disclosing the abuse.

 
  • The coach automatically has authority over the athlete as children are taught to respect and listen to adults.
  • Perpetrators will often exploit pre-existing power dynamics in order to maintain power and control of athletes.
  • Perpetrators regularly reinforce the power dynamic over the athlete through threats of not allowing the athlete’s career to move forward or being placed on the injury list, further reinforcing that the perpetrator is the gateway to future successes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

GROOMING

Using a long-term method of creating a personal relationship with the athlete to reinforce power and control, and alienate the athlete from their support systems. Grooming often occurs on a continuum beginning with boundary crossing and then escalating to additional acts of sexual abuse.


  • Grooming often happens over an extended period of time where perpetrators use the previously stated tactics to gain the athlete’s trust, reinforce power and control, and make them feel as though they have no exit.
  • Providing gifts to the athlete to gain trust, friendship, and further enforcing that the athlete is indebted to the person creating harm. The gifts might be something special or unique such as new sporting equipment, 1-on-1 training, or sports memorabilia.
  • Giving the athlete special attention that encourages trust between them and isolates them from their team and support.
  • Excessive encouragement or playing into the athlete’s dreams of being successful in the sport (as well as communicating the athlete’s unique abilities to the parents, often to access further one-on-one time).
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

MINIMIZING, DENYING, & BLAMING

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence* making light of abuse disclosed by athletes or whistleblowers and shifting the blame onto them. For example, gaslighting them into believing it did not happen or that the abuse was really an acceptable act within athletic training.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can gaslight the athlete by saying the abuse is a part of appropriate athletic training. Coach, athlete guardians, and enablers may argue that the athlete misinterpreted an acceptable form of training as abuse and try to make the athlete believe the abuse was acceptable.
  • The coaches, guardians, and people of influence shift the blame onto the athlete for not fighting back, alleging the athlete allowed the abuse, or questioning why the athlete did not report sooner. An athlete’s physical strength and athleticism will often be weaponized to cause doubt that the athlete could be a survivor.

*”Coaches, guardians, and people of influence” is being used to represent a coach, trainer, physical therapist, doctor, physician, parent, or other administrative personnel working within a sport that has access and ability to abuse athletes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

MINIMIZING, DENYING, & BLAMING

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence* making light of abuse disclosed by athletes or whistleblowers and shifting the blame onto them. For example, gaslighting them into believing it did not happen or that the abuse was really an acceptable act within athletic training.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can gaslight the athlete by saying the abuse is a part of appropriate athletic training. Coach, athlete guardians, and enablers may argue that the athlete misinterpreted an acceptable form of training as abuse and try to make the athlete believe the abuse was acceptable.
  • The coaches, guardians, and people of influence shift the blame onto the athlete for not fighting back, alleging the athlete allowed the abuse, or questioning why the athlete did not report sooner. An athlete’s physical strength and athleticism will often be weaponized to cause doubt that the athlete could be a survivor.

*”Coaches, guardians, and people of influence” is being used to represent a coach, trainer, physical therapist, doctor, physician, parent, or other administrative personnel working within a sport that has access and ability to abuse athletes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

COERCION

Using pressure or manipulation to force sexual contact. For example, using shame, threats, ultimatums, or withholding access to their sport or playing time as punishment for not engaging in sexual contact.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may use manipulative tactics and persistent boundary crossing to initiate abuse and maintain power and control.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will weaponize personal information against the athlete to gain access and control the silence of the athlete. For example, coaches and athlete guardians may introduce performance enhancers, use disclosed information, or create sexual abuse material of the athlete in order to have something that could harm the athlete if they reported.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

ISOLATION

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence maintain control over interactions and use isolation tactics to make athletes feel alone by restricting access to other athletes, coaches, trainers, facilities, and their family.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may distance the athlete from their team, friends and family, or other coaches, trainers, and staff in order to eliminate their contact with the people within their life that could hold the coaches, guardians, and people of influence accountable.
  • Isolation can be extremely dangerous when the athlete is distanced (especially with travel teams) from their own family and friends. This can happen by the coaches, guardians, and people of influence convincing the athlete that their family does not understand what is best for them, their family does not prioritize their athletic future, or by creating an environment where the athlete has limited time to be with these people.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Gaining the Athlete’s & Caregiver’s trust

Gaining trust is often achieved by “unburdening” or doing “favors” for the parents/ guardians such as providing transportation to a family that is struggling with scheduling or providing equipment to a child whose family cannot afford it. While providing support to a family is not a direct indicator of malice, when partnered with expected compliance or used to make the athlete feel as though they are indebted to a coach, this could be a method of gaining power and control.

  • Trust can be gained through different actions that make coaches, guardians, and people of influence seem like trustworthy people.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will often exploit a child and family’s vulnerabilities to groom the child such as offering rides to a single parent family, providing a mobile phone to a family with limited financial means, or acting as an affirming person for a queer youth that is not out to their family. These acts provide an additional dynamic of power and control over the athlete.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may ask the athlete personal questions, as well as disclose personal information, to groom the athlete and develop a false sense of trust and gauge whether the athlete will immediately disclose boundary crossing behaviors.
  • The grooming can be furthered by extra physical contact when providing demonstration or fixing the athlete’s form. This inappropriate touching can begin by small moments that may initially seem appropriate like congratulating the athlete with a high five, but then escalate to inappropriate physical contact.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

THREATS & REWARDS

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence often instill fear in athletes using threats such as reducing playing time or being removed from the team, to secure compliance and/or silence. Promised rewards of additional resources and time may be used to manipulate athletes into compliance and/or silence.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may threaten the athlete to have reduced playing time or unnecessarily be placed on the injury list.
  • Rewarding the athlete with excessive praise, in front of teammates from whom they withhold praise can further isolate the athlete from teammates.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may reward athletes for not disclosing by providing additional resources, one-on-one time, or allowing more playing time.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

HETERONORMATIVITY, SEXISM, & CISSEXISM

UHeteronormativity occurs in the assumption that perpetration does not happen outside of a cisgender male perpetrator and a cisgender female survivor. Heteronormativity, homophobia, sexism, and cissexism reinforce gender myths further silencing survivors that experience trauma outside of cisgender male perpetrator and cisgender female survivor. In addition, sexism and patriarchal myths are utilized to weaponize male and masculine privilege over feminine and female-identified athletes and reinforces a power dynamic and toxic gender roles.
 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence that perform toxic masculinity and/or become emotionally and verbally abusive over mistakes reinforce fear and a power dynamic over athletes.
  • Male and masculine survivor athletes often face additional barriers and stigmas when disclosing due to homophobia and patriarchal stigmas that perpetuate the myth that survivors are weak.
  • Male survivors are often marginalized and silenced further due to myths that survivors are those who only identify as cisgender female. Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can exploit this myth to further silence survivors.
  • Survivors that identify outside of the cisgender binary and/or identify as trans often experience additional barriers to reporting and dislcosing due to heteronormative, patriarchal myths that suggest queer people are hypersexualized or are groomers themselves. Again, perpetrators will often exploit these cultural myths to further silence and gaslight survivors. Additionally, perpetrators may exploit athlete ban policies by reminding queer athletes that they are not allowed to play in other leagues based on their identity.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

AUTHORITY

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence use their position of power over an athlete to threaten and manipulate the athlete not only to assault them, but to also control their reaction after the abuse has occurred and silence them from reporting or disclosing the abuse.

 
  • The coach automatically has authority over the athlete as children are taught to respect and listen to adults.
  • Perpetrators will often exploit pre-existing power dynamics in order to maintain power and control of athletes.
  • Perpetrators regularly reinforce the power dynamic over the athlete through threats of not allowing the athlete’s career to move forward or being placed on the injury list, further reinforcing that the perpetrator is the gateway to future successes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

GROOMING

Using a long-term method of creating a personal relationship with the athlete to reinforce power and control, and alienate the athlete from their support systems. Grooming often occurs on a continuum beginning with boundary crossing and then escalating to additional acts of sexual abuse.


  • Grooming often happens over an extended period of time where perpetrators use the previously stated tactics to gain the athlete’s trust, reinforce power and control, and make them feel as though they have no exit.
  • Providing gifts to the athlete to gain trust, friendship, and further enforcing that the athlete is indebted to the person creating harm. The gifts might be something special or unique such as new sporting equipment, 1-on-1 training, or sports memorabilia.
  • Giving the athlete special attention that encourages trust between them and isolates them from their team and support.
  • Excessive encouragement or playing into the athlete’s dreams of being successful in the sport (as well as communicating the athlete’s unique abilities to the parents, often to access further one-on-one time).
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

GROOMING

Using a long-term method of creating a personal relationship with the athlete to reinforce power and control, and alienate the athlete from their support systems. Grooming often occurs on a continuum beginning with boundary crossing and then escalating to additional acts of sexual abuse.


  • Grooming often happens over an extended period of time where perpetrators use the previously stated tactics to gain the athlete’s trust, reinforce power and control, and make them feel as though they have no exit.
  • Providing gifts to the athlete to gain trust, friendship, and further enforcing that the athlete is indebted to the person creating harm. The gifts might be something special or unique such as new sporting equipment, 1-on-1 training, or sports memorabilia.
  • Giving the athlete special attention that encourages trust between them and isolates them from their team and support.
  • Excessive encouragement or playing into the athlete’s dreams of being successful in the sport (as well as communicating the athlete’s unique abilities to the parents, often to access further one-on-one time).
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

MINIMIZING, DENYING, & BLAMING

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence* making light of abuse disclosed by athletes or whistleblowers and shifting the blame onto them. For example, gaslighting them into believing it did not happen or that the abuse was really an acceptable act within athletic training.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can gaslight the athlete by saying the abuse is a part of appropriate athletic training. Coach, athlete guardians, and enablers may argue that the athlete misinterpreted an acceptable form of training as abuse and try to make the athlete believe the abuse was acceptable.
  • The coaches, guardians, and people of influence shift the blame onto the athlete for not fighting back, alleging the athlete allowed the abuse, or questioning why the athlete did not report sooner. An athlete’s physical strength and athleticism will often be weaponized to cause doubt that the athlete could be a survivor.

*”Coaches, guardians, and people of influence” is being used to represent a coach, trainer, physical therapist, doctor, physician, parent, or other administrative personnel working within a sport that has access and ability to abuse athletes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

COERCION

Using pressure or manipulation to force sexual contact. For example, using shame, threats, ultimatums, or withholding access to their sport or playing time as punishment for not engaging in sexual contact.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may use manipulative tactics and persistent boundary crossing to initiate abuse and maintain power and control.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will weaponize personal information against the athlete to gain access and control the silence of the athlete. For example, coaches and athlete guardians may introduce performance enhancers, use disclosed information, or create sexual abuse material of the athlete in order to have something that could harm the athlete if they reported.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

ISOLATION

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence maintain control over interactions and use isolation tactics to make athletes feel alone by restricting access to other athletes, coaches, trainers, facilities, and their family.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may distance the athlete from their team, friends and family, or other coaches, trainers, and staff in order to eliminate their contact with the people within their life that could hold the coaches, guardians, and people of influence accountable.
  • Isolation can be extremely dangerous when the athlete is distanced (especially with travel teams) from their own family and friends. This can happen by the coaches, guardians, and people of influence convincing the athlete that their family does not understand what is best for them, their family does not prioritize their athletic future, or by creating an environment where the athlete has limited time to be with these people.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Gaining the Athlete’s & Caregiver’s trust

Gaining trust is often achieved by “unburdening” or doing “favors” for the parents/ guardians such as providing transportation to a family that is struggling with scheduling or providing equipment to a child whose family cannot afford it. While providing support to a family is not a direct indicator of malice, when partnered with expected compliance or used to make the athlete feel as though they are indebted to a coach, this could be a method of gaining power and control.

  • Trust can be gained through different actions that make coaches, guardians, and people of influence seem like trustworthy people.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will often exploit a child and family’s vulnerabilities to groom the child such as offering rides to a single parent family, providing a mobile phone to a family with limited financial means, or acting as an affirming person for a queer youth that is not out to their family. These acts provide an additional dynamic of power and control over the athlete.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may ask the athlete personal questions, as well as disclose personal information, to groom the athlete and develop a false sense of trust and gauge whether the athlete will immediately disclose boundary crossing behaviors.
  • The grooming can be furthered by extra physical contact when providing demonstration or fixing the athlete’s form. This inappropriate touching can begin by small moments that may initially seem appropriate like congratulating the athlete with a high five, but then escalate to inappropriate physical contact.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

THREATS & REWARDS

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence often instill fear in athletes using threats such as reducing playing time or being removed from the team, to secure compliance and/or silence. Promised rewards of additional resources and time may be used to manipulate athletes into compliance and/or silence.

 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may threaten the athlete to have reduced playing time or unnecessarily be placed on the injury list.
  • Rewarding the athlete with excessive praise, in front of teammates from whom they withhold praise can further isolate the athlete from teammates.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may reward athletes for not disclosing by providing additional resources, one-on-one time, or allowing more playing time.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

HETERONORMATIVITY, SEXISM, & CISSEXISM

UHeteronormativity occurs in the assumption that perpetration does not happen outside of a cisgender male perpetrator and a cisgender female survivor. Heteronormativity, homophobia, sexism, and cissexism reinforce gender myths further silencing survivors that experience trauma outside of cisgender male perpetrator and cisgender female survivor. In addition, sexism and patriarchal myths are utilized to weaponize male and masculine privilege over feminine and female-identified athletes and reinforces a power dynamic and toxic gender roles.
 
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence that perform toxic masculinity and/or become emotionally and verbally abusive over mistakes reinforce fear and a power dynamic over athletes.
  • Male and masculine survivor athletes often face additional barriers and stigmas when disclosing due to homophobia and patriarchal stigmas that perpetuate the myth that survivors are weak.
  • Male survivors are often marginalized and silenced further due to myths that survivors are those who only identify as cisgender female. Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can exploit this myth to further silence survivors.
  • Survivors that identify outside of the cisgender binary and/or identify as trans often experience additional barriers to reporting and dislcosing due to heteronormative, patriarchal myths that suggest queer people are hypersexualized or are groomers themselves. Again, perpetrators will often exploit these cultural myths to further silence and gaslight survivors. Additionally, perpetrators may exploit athlete ban policies by reminding queer athletes that they are not allowed to play in other leagues based on their identity.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

AUTHORITY

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence use their position of power over an athlete to threaten and manipulate the athlete not only to assault them, but to also control their reaction after the abuse has occurred and silence them from reporting or disclosing the abuse.

 
  • The coach automatically has authority over the athlete as children are taught to respect and listen to adults.
  • Perpetrators will often exploit pre-existing power dynamics in order to maintain power and control of athletes.
  • Perpetrators regularly reinforce the power dynamic over the athlete through threats of not allowing the athlete’s career to move forward or being placed on the injury list, further reinforcing that the perpetrator is the gateway to future successes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Grooming

Using a long-term method of creating a personal relationship with the athlete to reinforce power and control, and alienate the athlete from their support systems. Grooming often occurs on a continuum beginning with boundary crossing and then escalating to additional acts of sexual abuse.

  • Grooming often happens over an extended period of time where perpetrators use the previously stated tactics to gain the athlete’s trust, reinforce power and control, and make them feel as though they have no exit.
  • Providing gifts to the athlete to gain trust, friendship, and further enforcing that the athlete is indebted to the person creating harm. The gifts might be something special or unique such as new sporting equipment, 1-on-1 training, or sports memorabilia.
  • Giving the athlete special attention that encourages trust between them and isolates them from their team and support.
  • Excessive encouragement or playing into the athlete’s dreams of being successful in the sport (as well as communicating the athlete’s unique abilities to the parents, often to access further one-on-one time).
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Authority

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence use their position of power over an athlete to threaten and manipulate the athlete not only to assault them, but to also control their reaction after the abuse has occurred and silence them from reporting or disclosing the abuse.
  • The coach automatically has authority over the athlete as children are taught to respect and listen to adults.
  • Perpetrators will often exploit pre-existing power dynamics in order to maintain power and control of athletes.
  • Perpetrators regularly reinforce the power dynamic over the athlete through threats of not allowing the athlete’s career to move forward or being placed on the injury list, further reinforcing that the perpetrator is the gateway to future successes.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Heteronormativity, Sexism, & Cissexism

Heteronormativity occurs in the assumption that perpetration does not happen outside of a cisgender male perpetrator and a cisgender female survivor. Heteronormativity, homophobia, sexism, and cissexism reinforce gender myths further silencing survivors that experience trauma outside of cisgender male perpetrator and cisgender female survivor. In addition, sexism and patriarchal myths are utilized to weaponize male and masculine privilege over feminine and female-identified athletes and reinforces a power dynamic and toxic gender roles.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence that perform toxic masculinity and/or become emotionally and verbally abusive over mistakes reinforce fear and a power dynamic over athletes.
  • Male and masculine survivor athletes often face additional barriers and stigmas when disclosing due to homophobia and patriarchal stigmas that perpetuate the myth that survivors are weak.
  • Male survivors are often marginalized and silenced further due to myths that survivors are only identify as cisgender female. Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can exploit this myth to further silence survivors.
  • Survivors that identify outside of the cisgender binary and/or identify as trans often experience additional barriers to reporting and dislcosing due to heteronormative, patriarchal myths that suggest queer people are hypersexualized or are groomers themselves. Again, perpetrators will often exploit these cultural myths to further silence and gaslight survivors. Additionally, perpetrators may exploit athlete ban policies by reminding queer athletes that they are not allowed to play in other leagues based on their identity.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Threats & Rewards

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence often instill fear in athletes using threats  such as reducing playing time or being removed from the team, to secure compliance and/or silence. Promised rewards of additional resources and time may be used to manipulate athletes into compliance and/or silence.

  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may threaten the athlete to have reduced playing time or unnecessarily be placed on the injury list.
  • Rewarding the athlete with excessive praise, in front of teammates from whom they withhold praise can further isolate the athlete from teammates.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may reward athletes for not disclosing by providing additional resources, one-on-one time, or allowing more playing time.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Gaining the Athlete & Caregiver’s Trust

Gaining trust is often achieved by “unburdening” or doing “favors” for the parents/guardians such as providing transportation to a family that is struggling with scheduling or providing equipment to a child whose family cannot afford it. These actions often occur in a way that seem helpful and generous, but coaches, guardians, and people of influence  may exploit a child and/or family’s vulnerability to gain their trust and place them in the position of a parental figure.

  • Trust can be gained through different actions that make coaches, guardians, and people of influence seem like a trustworthy person.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will often exploit a child and family’s vulnerabilities to groom the child such as offering rides to a single parent family, providing a mobile phone to a family with limited financial means, or acting as an affirming person for a queer youth that is not out to their family. These acts provide an additional dynamic of power and control over the athlete.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may ask the athlete personal questions, as well as disclose personal information, to groom the athlete and develop a false sense of trust and gauge whether the athlete will immediately disclose boundary crossing behaviors.
  • The grooming can be furthered by extra physical contact when providing demonstration or fixing the athlete’s form. This inappropriate touching can begin by small moments that may initially seem appropriate like congratulating the athlete with a high five, but then escalate to inappropriate physical contact.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Isolation

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence maintain control over interactions and use isolation tactics to make athletes feel alone by restricting access to other athletes, coaches, trainers, facilities, and their family.

  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may distance the athlete from their team, friends and family, or other coaches, trainers, and staff in order to eliminate their contact with the people within their life that could hold the coaches, guardians, and people of influence accountable.
  • Isolation can be extremely dangerous when the athlete is distanced (especially with travel teams) from their own family and friends. This can happen by the coaches, guardians, and people of influence convincing the athlete that their family does not understand what is best for them, their family does not prioritize their athletic future, or by creating an environment where the athlete has limited time to be with these people.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Coercion

Using pressure or manipulation to force sexual contact. For example, using shame, threats, ultimatums, or withholding access to their sport or playing time as punishment for not engaging in sexual contact.

  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence may use manipulative tactics and persistent boundary crossing to initiate abuse and maintain power and control.
  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence will weaponize personal information against the athlete to gain access and control the silence of the athlete. For example, coaches and athlete guardians may introduce performance enhancers, use disclosed information, or create sexual abuse material of the athlete in order to have something that could harm the athlete if they reported.
METHODS OF POWER AND CONTROL

Minimizing, Denying, & Blaming

Coaches, guardians, and people of influence* making light of abuse disclosed by athletes or whistleblowers and shifting the blame onto them. For example, gaslighting them into believing it did not happen or that the abuse was really an acceptable act within athletic training.

  • Coaches, guardians, and people of influence can gaslight the athlete  by saying the abuse is a part of appropriate athletic training. Coach, athlete guardians, and enablers may argue that the athlete misinterpreted an acceptable form of training as abuse and try to make the athlete believe the abuse was acceptable.
  • The coaches, guardians, and people of influence  shift the blame onto the athlete for not fighting back, alleging the athlete allowed the abuse, or questioning why the athlete did not report sooner. An athlete’s physical strength and athleticism will often be weaponized to cause doubt that the athlete could be a survivor.