By John-Michael Lander, The Army of Survivors Board Member
Content warning: This blog post contains stories of sexual abuse
Lately, I have been concerned about finding a solution for survivors’ and abused athletes’ long-term effects of inflammation due to negative self-talk. I have been thinking and wanting to understand how the negative self-talk that I developed during and after my traumatic events can cause inflammation, attack the immune system, cause pain and discomfort, and possibly lead to disease(s). I have discovered that easing or relieving the inflammation in my body allows me to have more energy and strength to examine the negative self-talk that I have consciously and unconsciously been saying to myself for most of my life.
Dr. Jim Hopper’s research “The Brain Under (Sexual) Attack” addresses how survivors’ brains are affected by sexual assault (and military combat and any major attack or stress): “Stress and trauma can rapidly and massively alter brain functioning, for example impairing rational brain regions, leaving only the reflexes and habits” and “altering the way memories are encoded and stored.”
Since survivors are constantly performing and adjusting at an elevated level of psychological exertion, we seem to be more susceptible to negative influences than non-survivors. A survivor’s brain may take longer to arrive at a simple directive than a non-survivor.
I realize every person is groomed (conditioned) from birth by the influences of parents, friends, churches, schools, doctors, social economics, ethnic background, and society. This initial influence of messaging is the basis of our development. After my traumatic events, I began a silent campaign to try to understand why the experience took place. Through reflection, I created scenarios and negative thoughts that helped me survive during and after those events. The more events, the easier it was to repetitiously riddle my brain with more self-doubt and unworthy mantras that became false truths in my mind. This type of thinking can become addictive and difficult to change. Dr. Shad Helstetter’s theory supports that our brains are like computers and do not discriminate what information we program into them.
Dr. Patricia Resick shared on Open Stance (a podcast hosted by former professional tennis player Tracey Hiete Smith) that traumatic events are like campfires in our minds, and we are constantly adding thought-logs to keep the fire ablaze. I recognize that these negative thought-logs (which I created myself) remain my truth for my lifetime, causing me to create a false self and riddle my body with inflammation. How do we stop thought-logs, so the campfire burns itself to ash?
Christopher Bergland, an ultra-endurance athlete and long-distance runner, states: “…it became clear what negative moods create physiological changes in my body, which cause me to run slower.”
After the abuse started, I remember that I struggled to find the motivation to go to practice, let alone compete. I felt that I was on display for everyone to judge and discriminate, so I berated myself with consistent negative self-talk. Could survivors be causing self-harm and re-self-victimization through the repetition of negative thoughts and self-talk? Research implies that we can change this downward spiral and develop healthier bodies and minds.
I have recently discovered that I have more energy and strength to create more positive self-talk by easing inflammation. When I am not feeling well, I am not interested in anything positive. This mood-set would compound the circular negativity and even create new thoughts. But I have found exercising, meditating, listening to recordings, and eating healthier have assisted in moving my body into an alkaline state and easing the inflammation. I am on a journey to change my negative programming into more positive self-talk.
I am happy to share more details, programs, and products utilized on my journey with you. Just contact me.
Resources
Christopher Bergland, “Negative Moods My Trigger Inflammation,” Psychology Today
Dr. Jim Hopper, Post 1 – The Brain Under (Sexual) Attack – Intro to Sexual Assault and the Brain blog
Jennifer E. Graham-Engeland, Nancy L. Sina, Joshua M.Smyth, Dusti R.Jones, Erik L. Knight, Martin J. Sliwinski, David M. Almeida, Mindy J. Katz, Richard B.Lipton, Christopher G. Engeland. “Negative and Positive Affect as Predictors of Inflammation: Timing Matters.” Brain, Behavior, and Immunity (First published online: September 11th, 2018)
Open Stance, Tracey Heite Smith’s Podcast
