DR. DANIELLE MOORE | BOARD MEMBER AND MENTAL HEALTH ADVISOR
As a sexual assault survivor there are many stresses that consume our time. Addressing mental health issues, attending support groups and going to therapy are all positives, but finding the time to fit it in to an already busy schedule can cause stress. Any survivor that has dealt with symptoms of anxiety, depression and/or PTSD knows that coping can be completely draining. So why add to the stress, or even guilt, with a typical New Years resolution? Why even make a resolution? Setting and achieving realistic goals might help improve your mental health. Achieving a goal can increase happiness, your sense of well-being and even increase self-esteem. However, there are some tricks to setting a goal or making a resolution.
The resolution of spending hours and hours at the gym is probably difficult to obtain. Sticking to an unrealistic diet, spending more time with family and friends, or trying to travel more can add additional pressure. Don’t’ get me wrong all these resolutions are great to obtain, but the goals are relatively broad and can cause more stress because of time constraints. So why not take a different approach? And try and have some fun and be creative.
Be specific in your resolution. Specific goals are easier to obtain. If exercise or eating healthy is your goal, try framing your resolution like this:
I will try a new spin class this year.
Or
I will try and cook a new salmon dish.
Customize the goal to your wants and needs and not others expectations. Try it once, if it doesn’t go as planned or you don’t like it, your resolution is not broken because you did try.
Resolutions can also be fun and great ways to treat yourself to a new experience. If you want to see more of the world, but you don’t have time to take a two-week vacation and the cost can cause financial stress, start in your own town or state. For example:
I will take my dog for a walk on the new walking path across town.
Or
I will explore the new exhibit at the museum in the next town over.
If spending more time with family or friends is your resolution, set a specific time, date, location and maybe the length of the visit. You may already know that if you say to a friend ‘lets get together soon,’ it could be a few weeks or even months until you see them, which may then cause some feelings of guilt. Instead look at you calendar and make a plan instead of saying ‘lets get together soon.’ Try:
I will see a friend for an hour for a coffee at the Biggby in Lansing on the week of January 12th.
Or
I will go to dinner with family in Detroit the weekend of February 7th.
When your resolution is specific and obtainable it is less likely to cause stress and feelings of guilt, and its more likely that you will achieve your goal. Make sure if you are trying a new activity and become triggered or anxious, stop. Then congratulate yourself for at least trying. Remember any type of progress is progress.
Take care of yourself and have a safe and happy New Year.
